#17

Let's just say, I'm pressing the "Restart" button for my life because that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to delete every negative vibe I can possibly delete & replace them with amazing positive ones. Why? Because a wise father once told me to take the good in bad. Apparently, my bad is all bad so why not throw away the bad and take the good I pushed away for the bad. Make sense, no? I'll enlighten you here.

I've always been mean to myself all these years. I cared about what people thought. I organized everyone's happiness but forgot my own. I let people take me for granted because back then, I thought I don't have anyone else. But when I thought deeper, I do have other people. So much more people. A negative thought will destroy your life and all the happiness in it.

I literally thought I didn't have friends, back then. But now I realize I have so many friends I pushed away because I thought my old "friends" were true to me. I was proven wrong for the past few months. I want to deeply apologize to my old friends whom I neglected for so long. I know how it feels and I'm really really sorry. It took me a month to see what true friends I have behind me, supporting me at all times when my "friends" were dissing me. I'm contented, blessed even, to have amazing people like you guys.

I was put to a huge test by God to see how good I am with patience and let me be the first to say that to be very honest, I took the test really nicely. I wasn't triggered to repeat my old mistakes like self-harming or cussing like an idiot. All I did was pray. Pray that I get a huge and useful lesson from the test and you know what? I really did.

Life is not about what you have, had or will have. It's about how you're grateful with no matter what you have. Test or blessing, be grateful with all. Because life is way too short to regret anything. And it's also too short to be wasted on chasing people who's not worth your time. Trust me, no one is worth your time but God.

Truth be told, I'm not a pious lady myself. I'm not deeply devoted to my religion. To me, not deep enough; will never be deep enough. But I know well enough that God will always be there if you call upon Him. And when you're in trouble, only God is worth being called upon because He gave you the test, He will grade you, He will determine whether you failed or aced the test. So why ask someone else to grade your test for God? It's His and only His job.

By the end of the day, we're put on Earth to prepare for our ukhrawi as perfect as we possibly can, & never for duniawi. Yes, we sometimes may slip on our own words but true people will stand up, make up for it and improve. As I said before, I'm not a pious lady. I'm nowhere near being reverent whatsoever but I make up for it, & improve. I believe everyone should in order to make this world a better place for the next generation.

More to come.

Sincerely,
The Abstruse Writer