#11

"Kalau cantik, takpa jugak"

A very typical Malay saying that mainly means you can only do so, if you're pretty. Literal translation, "kalau cantik" means if you're pretty. "takpa jugak" means it's fine. The question is, why is it fine to do anything if you're pretty? I didn't know there's a dress code for mistakes. But, the true question in my opinion is, what is the definition of a pretty girl? What is beauty? Who is beautiful? Why is she beautiful? Look, I think some girls are really really beautiful, but other girls are simply beautiful. These are my reasons:

HEART

A lady is beautiful when they have a nice heart. To be honest, everyone is nice in my point of view. Is there ever a bad girl? No matter how bad the girl is, they would always have that respect for older people, for their parents, for teachers and others too. Girls who don't have respect for others, don't really have respect for herself either. Which comes back to my "everyone is beautiful " statement. Never ever have I ever seen a bad girl in front of me because I'm blessed to be surrounded by great people, and great ladies. The heart should be the center of attention in society, not the looks nor the body. Without the heart, a stunning girl with a flawless face would mean absolutely nothing.

FACE

Don't get me wrong. I still think gorgeous girls are extremely gorgeous. But what makes a girl gorgeous? When they have A FACE. In general, a face. A pair of eyes, ears, a mouth and a nose. And not some girl with huge eyes and a sharp nose and such. No. I'm saying, if you have a face, you are beautiful. And if you don't have a perfect face, you're missing an eye, or your nose is deformed, it would make you extra beautiful. Especially when you learn to accept your flaws. A face is just a face. Nothing makes it beautiful if you don't accept your face the way it is.

CONFIDENCE

Nothing beats beauty than confidence. Anyone can look beautiful, as long as they have confidence. I've seen insecure ladies, and they are beautiful. The only thing they lack is confidence. If they have the self-esteem to show the world how beautiful they are, the world would see it. Regarding how you look. Because looks don't matter, right? It's really about your mental and physical. Whether they are beautiful to you or not. It's proven that a person will look better on days she feels confident compared to the days she feels insecure. So chin up, ladies. Wanna look beautiful? Feel beautiful, believe you're beautiful, and embrace it!

BODY

No, I'm not talking about thigh gaps, or collar bones, or even obvious shoulder blades. But I am talking about the legs you have. And the arms you have. Wow, you must be beautiful and blessed to have a pair of those! You are truly beautiful, embrace it. Life is not about thinspo or fat ((sorry)). Heck, there's no such thing as those categories. It's never about what size you are. It's about being grateful with everything you have. Some people are born without legs, or arms, or lost them in a battle but they embrace it the same way you embrace skinny bodies. Difference is, they don't have legs, and they are still content. Those kind of people are a million times more beautiful than girls who would starve themselves for skinnier legs. Like I said before, inner beauty is everything. You don't need thigh gaps to know you're important. You don't need to be a size 0 to be a part of the world. If you are grateful with your body, you embrace it, and always thank God for the blessings, you are good to go.

My point is, beauty is not about the hair colour, or the body size, or the face or anything like that. Those are extra assets to make yourself feel better when self-esteem is not there. But if you don't have self-esteem, what will that result you with? Absolutely nothing. Girls, you are so much better than you think, regarding how you look in the mirror. Because if it wasn't clear enough, everyone is truly beautiful to me, as long as you believe you are. I know you feel insecure and have no confidence at times but if you need me, call me up. I will remind you of how beautiful you are. If you don't have blond hair, or blue eyes, or a size 0 body, or skinny legs, I BELIEVE you are still beautiful in your own beautiful skin. Because beauty is all about the inside. And it should never be about the outside. Believe that you are beautiful, and may the society see what you see in yourself.

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer

#10

My dad, the wisest man I have ever known to love has always told me, "Don't be too happy, no matter how happy you are". The only phrase he reminds me every time I go out for anything. Even for school. Why? I used to think he doesn't want me to be happy until I grew up and finally understood the true meaning of the phrase. The ugly truth is that when you're happy, you will get sad. And when you're sad, happiness follows right behind you. Don't believe me? Self-reflect time. Have you ever had a happy day, everything goes well. School was less tiring, friends were really nice, teachers were great and everything went perfect. But at night, things got bad. Family starts to blame you for something you didn't do. Your boyfriend had a bad day and gets mad at you for replying 1.5 minutes late. You feel empty and depressed. And you have absolutely no idea why. Well, that's because you're on the bottom part of the earth. If you don't know me well enough, you wouldn't know this one metaphor I use;

"Life is like the Earth. It's the entire Earth. It revolves. At one point, you will be on top, being happy with life and nothing will ever make you sad. Things would go well and everyone treats you nicely. But after a few hours, the Earth would start to rotate and bring you to the bottom part of the Earth. That's when life starts to be difficult. People will test your patience. They will make you mad. You will feel upset and depressed for no reason. Why? I don't know. It's just that way. You're at the bottom so you have to bring yourself up. You have friends, best friends, your significant other and even your family. They will help bring yourself up. The trick is, when you're coming back up, would you be right on top of the world or go to the middle? Being in the middle means you're moderate. Moderation is the key to life. Not too happy, not too sad. Alright, so now you're going back on top. What do you do? Would you directly go on top and go back to the bottom one day or would you go to the middle and when the Earth rotates, you would still be in the middle? Life is about making the right decision. Before you make a decision, think to yourself. Will this lead me to the top, middle or bottom? The choice is always in your hands"

Do you guys understand what I'm trying to say? Life is not about being as famous as the plastics. It's not about being the losers people look down on. It's about being moderate. You are respected for your moderation. Stay out of trouble. That's what my dad meant by "don't be too happy". He doesn't want me to be too happy with life and get drowned in depression afterwards. He has always been the wisest man if you understand what he's trying to say. And I managed to interpret what he said into my own version of advice. So take this piece of advice, and keep it forever.

LIFE WILL BE HARD, LIFE WILL GET EASY, ITS WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO ABOUT IT, WILL EITHER MAKE YOU, OR BREAK YOU.

Make the right decision when you're handling with life because you can either be really happy about it, or very very unhappy. It's all up to you. I would personally choose being in between, any day. I don't care if I'm not popular and no one knows me. I also don't care if people look down on me. I have my own standards and my standards is to be moderate. I'll stay in between so that I won't get kicked in the face by reality. Think about it guys :-)

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer

#9

"Don't lose yourself," said the voice in my head. Can I keep this up? All this pain I've been keeping? Is it even possible? Those words haunted me as I went on with my life pretending to be happy and problem-free. For years, I had suffered from depression. The first incident I can remember happened when I was 11. I was already depressed and I couldn't feel anything else but sadness. I can't remember a single day without having the urge to come home and weep alone in a dark corner, begging to die. Fortunately, things got slightly better for me. I learned to be stronger and believe that everything will get better.

By the time I aged and turned 13, it happened again. Those voice in my head, telling me how worthless I am, it kept screaming. The outbursts would happen monthly. Most of the time, I would think it's normal for a teen with hormones but it started to worry me when it happens every week. I spend most of my day being the happy and cheeky girl I was known to people but my mind seemed to take a life of its own. Initially, they happened for no reason. But now, everything is a reason. I can't think of one thing that would make me happy. Everywhere I turn, my mind would create a tragedy scene and make me upset instantly. No matter how happy the situation is, all would be twisted by my mind into something really awful and painful.

I tried seeking for help. From everyone I could think of; parents, siblings, best friends and even boyfriend. Nothing seems to work because my mouth couldn't find the right words to describe how I felt. I'm depressed. What is so complicated about that? I want to be happy but it's difficult. Every time I try to explain my feelings, this little voice in my head starts screaming how worthless, stupid and hopeless I was. Eventually, I gave up.

It was when I was 16 I realized, I found the perfect solution. The only way to stop the suffering was simply not to feel anything anymore. It's not that hard for someone who has crazy activities in school and has great friends to keep me busy. It was great to stop feeling depressed and just be happy with life but everything good will come to an end eventually. It wasn't long until I felt this emptiness in my heart. I could barely feel any emotions in whatever I do and it got to a point where I would self-harm just to feel something, even if it was physical pain.

Living my life was scary. Everything you see, will turn horrible in your mind. One wrong step and you end up crying alone without any specific reasons. My life felt as if I was being chased by a black hole that would swallow me whole. It was so bad that I would never understand why. Why is this happening to me? Depression is something indescribable and it's nothing I would ever ask for. I wish my mind would shut up for once and let me be normal. I want to be normal. Just once. When will this suffering end? When will my mind stop creating scenes to upset me? Questions remain unanswered.

Sincerely,
The Abstruse Writer

#8

It takes two.

Two people to make a relationship work,

Two birds to make an egg,

Two legs for a man to stand up,

Two ears to hear left and right,

Two poles to hold a bridge.

A lot of things, takes two in order to make it work. Just like love. What is a relationship without a partner? Apart from your love for yourself and animals, you need another person to complete love. Regarding the gender, height, wealth, music taste, family background and looks, everyone needs another person to complete love together. As most of you know, I met my other half. It was very quick, but I’m sure he’s the one. He’s different, he’s special, he’s mine. Love is beautiful when you meet the right person. It’s not about the looks. It never was. I understand how everyone says it’s B-crap when someone says they don’t look at the looks but believe it or not, I didn’t. I never did. He has a beautiful face but he was a jerk so I turned him down immediately. By force, I had to keep the conversation going because I’m not good at ending conversations but I’m glad I didn’t. I learned that behind that jerky attitude he had, he was actually very kind. He just puts that yucky trait to avoid girls, probably? My point is, it’s never about the appearance. When you grow old, you only have white hair left, and wrinkles, and no longer beautiful, what will keep you together? Definitely the humor, the brain, the charm and the grace. It’s not always about the outside because the outside will fade and the inside will shine. Will you accept a dirty inside for a beautiful outside, or vice versa? The latter, of course. The inside is forever, outside is temporary. Not to mention the fact that the outside is very fragile. For example, you were in a car crash. After your treatment, it seems that your face is all different. Scars and cuts everywhere. Would they stay for your face? Of course not! But for your heart? Definitely. Because a beautiful heart beats a beautiful face, any day. Sadly, society thinks differently. If you’re beautiful, you deserve happiness. If you’re not a size 0, you are no one. Because nobody realizes how important the inside is until they lose the outside. Just a heads up, outside fades. Don’t be so devoted for their looks. You’re going to regret it. To choose the right partner to complete your love, go for the heart. Go for what they have to offer inside, instead of how they look on the outside. Because nothing is better than the purity of the heart. Absolutely nothing.

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer

#7

“I’M LONELY”

A phrase often said by teenagers, and I’m one of them. I’m currently lonely. I’m alone. I’m around the people I love the most, but I feel lonely. I feel like walking the earth alone no matter how many people I have walking beside me. Let’s face it, I’m probably the loneliest teenager in my neighborhood. Probably because I have everyone I need but to them, I’m no one the need. It’s a really one-sided relationship I have with everyone around me.

“I’m still alone.”

I have to remind myself everyday that I have people I love around me because they make me feel like I’m nothing. By the end of the day, I’m the one who gives reassurance that I mean something because most of the time, I’m nothing. I try my best to be happy but my effort would go down the drain every time I get shut down by the people I talk to. They never care about what I have to say because I’m never smart enough to speak my opinion.

“You’re going to be alone, forever.”

Whispered my echoes. Even I don’t like myself. Why would anyone stick around? I’m not interesting like them, I don’t drink or smoke like them, I don’t sleep around like them. I don’t have great stories to tell them. I sit in my room and write to myself because that’s where I find peace. I’m not good enough for them, am I? I don’t have a body to be stared, I don’t have the looks nor the hair. I’m an average. Nothing interesting. No wonder they leave. All of them.

“Nobody needs you.”

The monsters inside my mind reminds me everyday, without fail. Truth is, I don’t need anymore reminders. Reality says it all. I realize where I stand. I can’t be like them. I just can’t. I’m not how society thinks I am. I can never be that girl they expect me to be. I prefer crying in my room alone to feel better, not drink alcohol. I prefer starving myself when I’m stressed out, not stuff ice cream in my mouth. I’m actually very different. Bad different.

“You’re disgusting.”

That one statement I’m sick and tired of listening. It’s not like I don’t know it already. I’m sorry I don’t send my body to a shop so they would repair all my flaws. I like my flaws because they make me who I am. I don’t have a barbie face. I don’t go for weekly facial treatments, waxing, threading or anything like that. I don’t wear make up, ever. I keep myself natural and flawful when I go out because that’s who I am.

“You are such an embarrassment.”

An embarrassment? My whole life is an embarrassment. I don’t make my parents proud. I don’t make my friends happy. I don’t make my boyfriend blessed. Because I can only make people unhappy. I’m not good at making people feel delighted around me. They never listen to me. Because I’m not as important as everyone else. I’m different, and I’m awful. People think twice before befriending me. They reject whenever I invite them for hang outs. They don’t want to be caught being around me in public. Wow, I am really terrible.

“Just kill yourself.”

You think I didn’t try? You think dying is easy? It takes the right equipment, timing and privacy. I get none of them. My parents won’t let me go anywhere near a knife. No one would leave me alone in the room when I’m depressed because they know what I would do. Every time I attempt something, someone WILL interrupt me. Is it fate that I’m not meant to die yet? Only God knows. I don’t want to leave the people I love behind, but they want me to go. Why is life being a teen so difficult?

Most of the time, I’m suicidal. I think about death a lot. Too much for a teenager like me. I like living, but death sounds like a perfect getaway. I’m smart enough to know life after death won’t be beautiful for people who commits suicide but no one would attempt suicide for fun. I’m tired of being everyone’s second choice. I’m my parents’ second choice. My best friends’ third choice maybe? I can rely on my boyfriend. He’s been there for me when I cry and when I laugh. Because he wants to be there for my best and worst. I also rely on my best friends. They are everything to me. Unlike some people, they only need me when I’m at my best so that they don’t have to listen to my burdening stories. No one cares, dear self. Snap out of it!

“You can go through this. It’s just another suicidal phase. Everyone loves you. They need you”

I remind myself every time I feel this way. Surprisingly, it helps me a lot. I need you right now. I need you to give me strength because without you, I’m weaker than my usual weak self. You give me strength, and you give me hope. I wish everyone would treat me the way you do. Life would be decent for me. But no, everyone has their important people. I’m just not one of them.

“It’s okay, dear self. Everything is going to be fine and it will get better”

I chant in my mind. I can make things better without anyone’s help. I don’t need to self harm or take pills. I can just do what I always do. Watch movies? Call my boyfriend? Listen to music? Anything to keep my mind off such horrible ideas like suicide or anything like that.

“Just don’t hurt yourself anymore, dear self. You’re better than this”

I say, as tears stream down my face. I’m not the strong girl you think I am. I may be quiet, but I’m not strong. You don’t know the meaning of strong until you go through the loneliness I feel everyday. I just wish one day, people would say I mean something to them. For once, I want to feel important. And if possible, I want to hear it before I go. Please, at least let me go in peace. I want to feel happiness. Just like normal teenagers do. I’m not strong. I need happiness too.

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer

#6

To all the heartbroken peeps who can’t move on, this post is for you. Let me start with my own experience, true story:

“I was once madly in love with a guy. It was his senior year, I was a freshman. He was the tough guy and he plays rugby for the state. He was in the hottest and most popular clique along with the really good looking seniors that everyone looks up to. I was just another girl. Fat and ugly. Every time they walk pass me, I would think to myself, “They would never talk to me. Never in a million years”. Everything changed when I was at school, open hall, I received a friend request on BBM. It was from him. I asked my friends for confirmation because I couldn’t believe myself. I approved it and said NOTHING. Suddenly, he started the conversation with a simple hi. I couldn’t believe it. Why would such a famous guy, known to the whole neighborhood, say anything to such an underdog like me? Anyway, I played cool. Kept a conversation going for quite a while. After a couple months, I fell for him. Fast, I know. He was never a gentleman, but he’s truly charming. And it was a surprise how he would talk to someone like me. So one day, I decided to confess to him my feelings towards him. Boy, you have no idea how painful it was to find out he JUST got together with one of the sophomores. I was devastated, but I moved on. After a month, I heard news that he broke up with that girl. Oh, and not to mention they were a hot couple and people shipped them so much. So, he started talking to me again and he told me he couldn’t be with her because he has feelings for me. I HAD BUTTERFLIES EVERYWHERE. After a few weeks, he had the guts to ask me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t take much time to accept. We were as happy as can be. We were the same, but very different. When I go out with him, it felt like going out with myself. No one can read me the way he does. He understood everything about me. After half a year, things got rough. Misunderstandings happened much too often. We fought a lot. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn’t know how to save the relationship. Things happened too fast. I blame myself for that. One day, everything just ended like that. At first, it was easy to move on because he was a total jerk. He dated the head cheerleader after a week, which made me hate him so much. 3 months after moving on, he came back. Begging for me. He claimed that I was the best he’s ever had. I shot him down and left him hanging. Deep down inside, I still loved him. The same way I have since the first day. But I had to do the right thing and reject him. I kept my feelings for him for so long. Recently, he came back to me again. He claimed that I was still his best even after 3 years of breaking up. He dated girls after me but he still thinks I’m the best? There must be something wrong with that boy. I rejected him, once again. He says that after I graduate school, he wants us to get back together and get married because he needs me in his life. I was flattered. I still have those butterflies I get 3 years ago, even after being apart for so long. That was the effect from being with him. He was definitely my first, and best. I would always reject him but if I’m being perfectly honest, he will always have that spot he once left in my heart. Although that spot is taken by someone else, he left the deepest mark and it’s going to be there, forever”

I, too, have trouble with moving on. It takes the right people, right activity, and right mindset to move on properly. Now, to help you people who has trouble with moving on. First of all, I want to help you mentally. Do you know why you have to move on? Because you deserve happiness. You cannot stay devoted to someone that was once yours, or never yours in the first place. Because you don’t deserve that pain. Hanging on to a person that doesn’t feel the same will only hurt yourself and you can definitely change that. First step is to bear in mind that you HAVE to let go. You HAVE to forget that person. Lets just use “he” to ease the progress. If you’re a guy, interpret it yourself and change every “he” to a “she” alright? Okay anyway, no matter how good he is, if he’s not yours anymore, you have to let go. I know it hurts to see him with another girl but trust me when I say, there’s someone so much better for you. There’s 7 billion people in the world. You don’t need that one person to be happy. Even if he’s your husband and you guys have a divorce, you will find someone better. No one is made for one person only. Many of you would think that it’s “fate” but IT’S NOT. It’s fate if you marry him, stay happy and die together. That’s fate. Not your boyfriend from your class or whatsoever. Maybe to you, it’s fate because they make you super happy. Then, you’re probably right. But once they become really clingy and you’re sick of it, you have to move on. A person is only permanent when they make you happy, even when you’re unhappy. If you’re madly in love with a guy who doesn’t make you happy, you have to get your head straight because why are you in love if he doesn’t make you happy? You have to know when you can be devoted, and when you have to move on. Look people, being in love is a great feeling. But when the love dies and you’re not together anymore, know that there are so many more fishes in the sea so let go of the one you have. You just need the right bait and a good fishing rod. Right bait can either be money, or brains. A good fishing rod can be a hot body or charms. Anything will do. As long as you know that when you have the right bait and a good fishing rod, you can catch better fishes than the one you have on your line. The fish on your line is probably an old boot or an empty tin can. You have no idea what the world has to offer. There is so much more you can discover. Don’t waste your life on an old boot when you can let go, cast again and probably catch a huge ass shark? You will never know what you’re missing out until you discover on your own. And you can never discover anything until you let go what’s not making you happy or satisfied. If you’re blessed with the fish you have, and you’re sure as hell that it’s an actual fish, then you can reel in the line and keep the fish in an aquarium or something. If what you have on the line is a shoe and you know it’s someone else’s shoe, you have to let go and cast for something better. Metaphorically, that was my advice. To be straight forward, if you know he’s not for you, and you’re not for him, let go. There are so many people in the world and you will find someone better because everyone deserves the perfect guy. It just takes the right mindset to know when to let go. I hope some of you would have the right idea of the message I’m trying to send in part 1. I will work on part 2 as soon as I can, alright? Think about it. The right bait and a good fishing rod. Let go of the old boot for a really expensive and rare fish. Best of luck!

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer.

#5

Assalamualaikum. If you still read my blog after all my pointless entries, you mean a lot to me. Because I’m a very pointless writer. And for you to have such attention span for something pointless is incredible. Anyway, I want to share my two cents about society. Society is rather general. It is basically the mankind. Don’t get me wrong, I love certain parts of the society. It’s the least favorite part of society deserves a spot in this entry. I don’t know if you know this but I actually have the ability to know someone’s true intentions. When they talk to me, I know when they’re trying to boast, when they’re trying to be humble (but still boast), when they want to rub it in my face or when they don’t care about the subject they’re speaking of. Most of the time, I can detect how boastful a person can be and it irritates me more than anything. That’s the main reason why I avoid society. Because I cannot tolerate how arrogant they can be. Society is awful at times. They will hurt you no matter what they do, behind you or right in your face. People who prefer going behind another’s back, known as backstabbers, should be loathed. I’ve known a million backstabbers my entire life and I haven’t even lived that long. Backstabbers are actually nice people, just less honest. When they despise a friend or a family member, they tend to lie about how much they like that person. Which leads to false hope and also a fake way of seeing someone. When they hide their true hatred, they will have their limits and eventually spreads the hatred for that person, to another person.  Either that, or they spread hate through social networks anonymously, or indirectly. If you’re honest (unfortunately like me), you would tell off someone for something they do that isn’t your interest without filtering anything because you’re honest. In my opinion, being honest is much better than being two-faced and hide something you dislike and spreading hate for no reason. You can always say it to their face and hope that they change because that’s what I do. And tell me this, would you prefer changing yourself from what anonymous people tell you or from a really honest friend who does it privately, not publicly. The latter obviously, no? I would prefer an honest friend any day.

Now, there’s always a twist in my entries. Society hates honest people. Why? Because they think being honest is rude, which I totally disagree. Would you really prefer a friend who talks behind you rather than saying it to your face? I think honest people are slowly extincting in this cruel world and it has to be changed. If you don’t like a person, say it directly. Don’t hide it and keep it to yourself. It’s only going to turn into a massacre of problems inside your mind because they tend to repeat the same mistakes. They’ll PROBABLY stop if you tell them it’s bothering other people. There’s no harm done in being honest. Only to people who thinks they’re always right, though. They will never listen to another person’s opinion and they tend to mute advice from people. These kind of people has to be told off for not listening to a person’s opinion, not talked behind their backs. There’s no such human who deserves to be back stabbed because it’s such an awful thing to be done in this world. We should put backstabbing to a halt, make the world a better place. If you have something to say about a friend that you dislike, say it now. Talking badly about someone is not only bad, it’s a sin. Instead of continuing a sin, tell them directly and hope that they change into a better person. Every effort counts, every change starts from YOU. Stop backstabbing and be a man of your own words. Speak what’s on your mind to the person being thought of. No third-parties. Make the world a better place!

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer.

#4

It’s been a while, I must say. I’m actualy 7364.65 miles away from the place I usually blog. Currently in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Probably in the Africa continent. I’ve never been good in Geography. Anyway, how are you readers? I have so much in my mind to express but it’s appropriate to share my experience here in Saudi Arabia.

First day, our flight landed at 8.45 pm at Jeddah. That’s around 3.45 am in Malaysia. When we arrived, we were greeted averagely by the Arabs. They were pretty scary at first. Only because some of the people couldn’t follow such simple instructions which obviously would tick the security guards off. So we had to go in a queue for about 2 hours because of BAD systems. We waited that long just for our luggage bags. And they weren’t even careful with them. They would throw them to the floor like dirty laundry. Anyway, after a whole 2 hours, we got our luggage safely and we walked to the bus. It was probably 7 blocks away. Once we got in the bus, it took us 4 hours to reach Medina. We obviously slept in the bus because we weren’t used to the time zone yet. Oh, and when we stopped somewhere for a quick pit-stop, IT WAS FREEZING. We were totally unprepared and it was beyond our expectations. It was so cold I can feel my bones begging for mercy. We had to pray in such weather and with total shock after sleeping so soundly in the bus. After that was done, we got up in the bus and went through about an hour to reach the hotel. Once we got there, it was probably the best feeling ever. We stayed at a hotel called Elaf Tayiba and it was great. It’s a decent 4-star hotel with WIFI at the lobby. The room was comfortable and it was so much more than we expected. Without doing anything further, we put on our pajamas and went to bed. Now that was probably the best sleep I’ve ever had in 16 years. We woke up during Subuh prayers at 5 am and took our wudhu’ in cold water, shock of my life. After praying, we basically sat the lobby, steal WIFI, eat, pray, shop, visit places and yaaaaaa that’s all we did. Medina was a very decent city. Not that busy, not that hot, not that cold, everyone was so friendly and it’s definitely somewhere I wanna live! After 3 days of doing nothing much, we had to say goodbye to the city of peace.

We hopped on the bus and went through 4 hours to get to Mecca. En route, we had to stop at a certain mosque for Miqat. Meaning, we read some sentences that will put us in an “Ihram” state. At that point, we are forbided from clipping our nails, cutting our hair, say bad things, expose our body and a lot more regulations. If one breaks the rule, they have to pay “dam” which is in a form of money. Usually it’s paying the amount of money worth a goat, or a camel. Luckily, we manage to control ourselves and non of us had to pay for “dam”. Anyway, once we reached our hotel in Mecca called Al-Saraya Eman, we had dinner and then perform our first Umrah. If you don’t know what Umrah is, it is a form of activity Muslims do. Umrah is actually a mini Haji. And a Haji is actually compulsory for people who has the money to do it.

Anyway, we performed our Umrah which consists of walking around the Kaabah 7 times, called Tawaf. Walk from Bukit Safa till Bukit Marwah 7 times, called Sa’i. And then do Tahlul, which is cutting at least 3 strands of your hair. After doing Tahlul, you are automatically lifted off from Ihram meaning we can do all the things we couldn’t while being under it.

Once we finished our first Umrah, we went back to the hotel and went to sleep because it was 5 am and we were truly exhausted. Oh, an information I left out, the hotel was rated below average. 2-star, in my opinion. It was small, dirty, poorly-serviced and has no wifi connectivity AT ALL. But I was grateful, without a doubt. Being at such a Holy city meant the world to me and I had absolutely no reason to complain. In Mecca, we visited many historic places such as Bukit Arafah and Hudaibiyyah. It is busier here. The mosque is further which means we have to get ready sooner. Cars are everywhere and people here are less friendly compared to Medina. Okay anyway, we performed our second Umrah on the fourth day. It was amazing. We did the Tawaf on the higher floor. Better view of the Kaabah and less people but it was under the sun. If you guys don’t know this, I’ve always been afraid of the sun. I get sunburns so easily. Although I participate in so much sport, my face is my top priority. So, after we did Tawaf, we did Sa’i and then Tahlul. Then we went back to the hotel and rested all day. Mecca is less interesting because it’s much too busy here. Everyone is busy doing ibadah and selling stuff around the mosque and policemen were everywhere. Basically, it wasn’t my kind of beef. Currently, it’s 3.47 pm here in Mecca. My flight to Malaysia is tomorrow evening at 10 pm and it’s a 10 hour-flight back. I can’t wait to go back.Well, it’s goodbye for now. Nothing much to say about Mecca nor Medina anymore. Till the next entry, bye!

Sincerely,

The Abstruse Writer